The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna Quindlen

 - The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna Quindlen

Patriarchal Blessing Mad Libs!

MadLibsIT

by Donna Banta

Brother/Sister        your name       , according to your request, I lay my     body part     upon your       body part      and through the power of the   adjective        male celebrity          give unto you your Patriarchal Blessing.

You are of the House of ­     Hogwarts sorting hat assignment     through the loins of   Clue game character  and shall enjoy the      plural noun     of that lineage which has the assignment of     bodily function ending in –ing      here on the     piece of furniture  .

Soon you will marry. Choose a/an    Crayola crayon hue         fruit or vegetable     who will remain faithful to his/her      article of clothing      and help you to      math function   and      bodily function     all over the     piece of furniture    . You will find     emotion ending in –ness      in serving in the Church, especially in the      adjective             possessive/plural farm animal        organization.

I       verb      you up to come forth in the       ordinal number (first, second, third, etc.)      adjective             Marvel Comics noise      to receive a/an       Clue game murder weapon      in the      Clue game room       . You will enjoy a/an       adjective       life of        household chore ending in –ing         in these      adjective      days, and will perform a/an      adjective             dance step       that will help to usher in the return of       your favorite Beatle­­­      .

In the name of ­­        person in the room      , Amen.

Category: Ex Mormon
  • Morgana

    This is too fun. I have to do it…

    Sister Morgana, according to your request, I lay my spine upon your spleen and through the power of the classy George Clooney give unto you your Patriarchal Blessing.

    You are of the House of Ravenclaw through the loins of Mrs. White and shall enjoy the saline solution of that lineage which has the assignment of hiccuping here on the ottoman.

    Soon you will marry. Choose a periwinkle artichoke who will remain faithful to his/her chaps and help you to cosine and sneeze all over the escritoire. You will find ludicrousness in serving in the Church, especially in the Baroque Their Geese organization.

    I snap you up to come forth in the 27th Foaming Kapow to receive a knife in the conservatory. You will enjoy a refined life of dusting in these smelly days, and will perform a turbulent Cha Cha that will help to usher in the return of Paul McCartney.

    In the name of ­­ Randy Johnson, Amen.

    • Donna

      Oh man, what a great future you have in store! (I’m jealous that you’re in the same room as Randy-snort)

    • Miss O

      This sounds soooo much more exciting than what you were previously promised as blessings! I snorted out loud at “saline solution”.

  • Miss O

    hahahha we just did this… I’ll post it on my FB. Best Family Home Evening activity ever!

  • SisterSweetSpirit

    I never understood how these were a-OK but horoscopes, tarot, etc. wasn’t. Seemed like the same thing to me!

  • Donna

    Got me, Sister Sweet Spirit. Miss O, just read it. Too funny. (I like John too.)

  • Jill Searle

    Fantastical and super di duper di sacrilegious. Love it! Can’t wait to receive my rope in the Billiard Room.

  • Naomi Whitaker

    This is actually hilarious!!

  • Donna

    Laughter is good for us, glad it’s having that effect.

  • Pingback: Sunday in Outer Blogness: Wrong Side of History Edition! » Main Street Plaza

x
Share your thoughts with us on Facebook
Ex-Mormon Mavens